PS We fucking hate you.

Bitch was so skinny she looked like her face was stretched.

Let them titties hang low.

You got a Texas ID yet the best you can pronounce pepsi is coca.

Bitches keep them ass shaped stomachs in your shirt.

“No beans at all.” So, not just a couple? You don’t want an individual bean? So, no beans at all. Got it. Cunt.

Congrats fat bitch, you just set fat bitches everywhere back with that big fest shirt.

Sorry bitch I’m not helping you because I’m training someone else to deal with your bitch ass.

Dumb bitch of the day:
“Can you wrap each half of the sandwich separately? It’s easier to eat on the plane…. PS Separate bags, we’re sharing.” PS We fucking hate you.

If you’re standing in front of a sign that says:

Then would you say “I’d like a receipt” is stupid?

I’m not a cranky cashier you stupid fucks all know with a smile. It doesn’t for one second change your illusions of grandeur, but if this was survival of the fittest, my smile would be the last one you ever see.

 

The same means the same.

Why the hell do you have a New Balance hat?

Dude’s shirt says snuggle bunny.

The same means the same. “I’ll take the same.”

Aww little girl, why punch holes in that pretty face?

I bet you’re a blast at the office Christmas party.

Dumb bitch of the day:
Me: Okay Caroline, if you’ll just wait right over there (indicates spot), I’ll call your name when your order’s ready.
Customer: So where do I wait? And you’ll call my name?

Dumb fuck of the day:
Customer: I want a combo.
Me: Okay. Do you want beans, coleslaw, or potato salad with that?
Customer: What sides can I get with the combo?

Me: I sell sides by 3oz.
Customer: Okay, I’ll take a quarter pound.

(Tune of “Do Your Ears Hang Low?”)
Do your tits hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Do you kick ’em when you walk?
‘Cause they’re hangin’ at the floor.

 

There’s no such thing as a side of soda

I wonder if it’s the small tits that make bitches bitchy, or god knew they would be bitches so he gave ’em small tits.

So you two dumb bitches don’t like the choice of sides?

Okay you dumb cunt. You’re standing in front of my register, I greet you, and you shush me because you’re on the phone.

Okay, I’ve had three people in the last two days fuck this up, so here’s a hint: there’s no such thing as a side of soda.

“I ordered a tea. Can you make sure it’s not sweetened?” First, you ordered tea not a sweet tea. Second, if you ordered it and it was sweet, then you still ordered and paid for it bitch.

Okay, at this point, how the fuck can you not use a touch screen? I see senior citizens using the kiosk. You just can’t figure it out? Or you’re a lazy piece of shit? I’m going with the latter not the former.

Me: You want the brisket sandwich?
Customer: Yeah, I want the sliced brisket.
Me: Sandwich?
Customer: Yes. Can I have it on just one piece of bread?
Me: Yeah, I can do that.
Customer: It comes with bread right?
Me: It’s a sandwich.

 

 

How do you end up with no social graces?

How do you end up with no social graces?

Every time I see a clown fish I think Nemo.

You dumb, dumb bitch.

If I only have two sizes of cups, how you gonna order an extra large?

Okay. I kinda get old people and tucking their shirts in their sweatpants, but you’re 20 something. Get a fuckin’ grip.

“Can I have a stuffed potato, but with the meat on the side? I don’t like anything touching.”

That man couldn’t be more gay with butterfly wings on.

Big bitches got big tattoos on big tits.

That couple’s comb-overs went in opposite directions.

Customer: What’s the difference between chopped and sliced brisket?
Me: Well one’s sliced and one’s chopped up.
Customer: Okay. I want the most thinly sliced one.

 

 

What kind of dumb bitch thinks they got diet pepsi but no pepsi?

Stop trying to give your water bottle to the cashier to fill. Fuck off. It’s unsanitary.

Listen you’re a true redhead and white as a sheet. Don’t wear peach.

Why the fuck would you name your kid Dick? “Aww, I love little Dick.”

Wow it’s a Mexican Mimi from The Drew Carey Show.

Dumb ass fat Oprah bitch.

Me: Good afternoon sir.
Customer: That’s it.

Me: Beans, coleslaw, or potato salad?
Customer: No thanks, I’ll wait.

Listen you fuck, you’re the sweater wearing, old money piece of shit that gives us white guys a bad name. All golly gee willikers and darn its.

“I want a whole brisket to go, but I don’t want a whole one. Could I get half?”

What kind of dumb bitch thinks they got diet pepsi but no pepsi?

 

Even if I had kid sizes you’re 70 years too old for a fuckin’ kid’s meal

What the fuck is with today? They’re hot or they’re fuckin’ idiots.

Bitch our sides aren’t nasty, that fat hangin’ over your belt’s nasty.

Even if I had kid sizes you’re 70 years too old for a fuckin’ kid’s meal.

Seriously bitch, you gotta see the coleslaw before you buy it?

I think I’d be unhappy being you too.

Yes I got the water you’ve been waving around.

Dumb dike.

Me: It comes with beans, coleslaw, and potato salad.
Customer: I’ll take double beans.

Me: Good afternoon sir.
Customer: You sure can.

Dumb fuck of the day:
Customer: You got BBQ sauce right? Okay good.
Me: Yes.
Customer: So you have BBQ sandwiches right?

 

 

Wow dude, for a second I thought you were a feminazi.

Wow dude, for a second I thought you were a feminazi.

Me: We have regular, sour cream and onion, and BBQ chips.
Customer: Can I have jalapeno?

Bitch’s name is really Mitzi. You want your kid to grow up to be a house cat?

Just because you’re in a wheelchair doesn’t really give you the right to be a dick.

I only told you have a great day because I have to. I really wish you bad luck and an equally bad day.

I just watched a strange, little midget man drop fries on the floor of the airport, pick them up, and eat them.

Oh fuckin’ hell. You’ve got to be kidding me. You can get multiple things on a combination platter? It’s fuckin’ amazing.

If the person makes the food in front of you, then is there a purpose to asking how long it takes? The answer is it takes as long as you to shut your mouth, give me your money, and get a fuckin’ sandwich.

If you’re a picky bitch who needs everything changed on your order, go home, make it there, and don’t bother me.

You’re a flight attendant. Your whole life’s a tax write off. Don’t tell me you’re poor bitch, I’m poor.

 

I bet that third chin makes you unhappy

If you got two saggy, half empty water balloon titties, don’t show them saggy sacks off.

Your dress jacket has lace on it. I don’t think you got where you are with business savvy.

Fuckin’ feminazi, go man hate somewhere else. I would limit my exposure to your man hatin’ ugly face, but you chose to order from me. Go the fuck away. I hope you run outta batteries.

“Do I pay here?” If you pay the man behind the registered filled with money, who’s job it is to sell you things, then yes, you pay here.

Eat another diet pill you strung out bitch.

I bet that third chin makes you unhappy.

Bitch you know 3oz of meat ain’t fillin’ your fat ass up.

Who would make a kid with you?

Sometimes I wish I was one of these guys that dates based on personality.

 

You need to shove that food into your fat face just the way it is

What the fuck is up with these ties? That one was fuckin’ quilted.

Customer: What’s on a potato?
Me: Chopped brisket, butter, sour cream, cheese, BBQ sauce.
Customer: Okay. I don’t want onions or chives.

How you gonna be a grown ass man walking around with your shoes untied?

I just told that midget the straws are on the top shelf.

Tell your cashier everything you want. See if you don’t tell me anything, and my cook makes a standard meal, you need to shove that food into your fat face just the way it is.

Bitch gain some weight. You need more than skin on that skull, Crypt Keeper bitch.

Hell yeah. That rare moment when the man and the lesbian agree that ass isn’t too bad with that thong hangin’ out.

Customer: So there seems to be a picture of some sort of platter with brisket and sausage. What’s that called?
Me: A brisket and sausage platter.

 

 

Either you’re willing to pay or you’re not

For a second I thought that was his mom. Now it’s just dirty.

“Will you wrap this? It’s too hard to eat on a plane.”

Yea yea, pork’s bad religion, all that shit. I eat it so why would I care if you don’t.

That dude’s hair looked like it was pulling a Something About Mary.

The rarest and most prized customer of them all, the one that believes in a 25% gratuity on every purchase.

The human genome should have given up on everyone flying today.

Why would anyone willing have Mr Zorg’s hair from The Fifth Element?

What man admits a sandwich is too much for him to handle?

“I want a cheese quesadilla, light cheese.”

Either you’re willing to pay or you’re not.